Zuihitsu #35

I didn’t want this to happen.
Probably, you didn’t, either, but it’s not fair for me to speculate on that.
I can’t make promises anymore.
Every time you stare at me with dull or burning eyes,
I will flee into the night,
Frustrated and abandoned –
Like I used to be.
We all have our baggage.
You carry yours, and I’ll carry mine.
I shouldn’t have to carry yours –
And you shouldn’t disregard mine.

If I have to withdraw to take care of myself,
I will –
because you are hurting me.
If you want this relationship to be sustainable,
you will have to stop hurting me.
I’ve hurt myself enough.