「Re:construction」

(wild)fire

as the dark ash blows
and her eyes begin to close —
how can we still love?
even in times such as these,
even in this cursed place?

wildflowers

laying here beside you in the damp, glowing sand
I think, this is what it must mean to live.
the next great wave will erase all traces of our past being,
but that is fine with me,
because I don’t need to be immortal –
so long as I am here, now, with you.

we walk the paths worn by those before us,
hiking the forests in their great autumn displays.
the days flit through our fingers and the leaves shed like tears –
like a brilliant, loving rain –
and you wrap your hand securely in mine,
both of us knowing that after all,
these are just our times.

it’s nothing to be sad about,
hear us say to you –
watch the wildflowers bloom beneath our feet,
the beauty that reclaims us, and know
that like waves we all come and go –
but the sea is no less beautiful in our wake.

dear child,
we’ve promised as we lived.
listen now to the music of our souls,
an offering of strength when you have none left to give –
close your eyes as the words take root in your heart
and find the peace we spared for you.

dear child,
as you someday gaze up at the stars,
please know it is not over,
that our tongues did not all drip lies.
not every life is made to end in tragedy –
return to the sand, the autumn woods, and there we will still be.

it’s nothing to be sad about,
hear us say to you –
watch the wildflowers bloom beneath our feet,
the beauty that reclaims us, and know
that like waves we all come and go –
but the sea is no less beautiful in our wake.

Bedside Dreams

I know it’s beyond all control
though it was never my intention –

even now the threads of time spill between us
loose enough to remember,
loose enough to see, I cry
reaching out for my past self
and the you I will meet tomorrow
we chase each other in opposite directions,
flying from horizon to horizon unseen
our whole lives compressed to single moments, these
fleeting glimpses of your eyes –

and it was never my intention to have to watch you die.

Haunted ~watching, day by day~

dragging my feet through the sand, I
can think only of you
consumed by all the world’s pain
as I search for our gravestones now swallowed by the sea,
we cried
wanting our love to make a difference
trying to save all the world’s children and our own
now condemned
I walk into the sea without feeling the chill
the swirling pull about my legs, meaningless
the same way our lives were meaningless
you cannot drown a living spirit, after all
and the spirit of humanity is still nothing but alive, I tried
to find you but even now I’m lost
and haunted, I resume my eternal wanderings without a thought
without a word to describe the thought
forever searching, watching, losing,
to this world in which I live.

condemned

falling slow, just like
prisoners, not on death row
but condemned for life;
there is no greater torture
than being living spirits.

Sora

sinking into the sea, your face still masked
and of course it was your own undoing
the chains curl around your body but you cannot feel
the moonlight pierces the surface high above,
our only indication of direction as you fall

you might as well be flying

as precious as a child’s dream, your eyes I cannot meet
hidden behind the plastic that guarded your heart
she cries but her tears dissolve into the saltwater unseen
both knowing this is nothing more, nothing less than eternity
nothing more, nothing less than being alive
because if the act of waking up is dying, our world is now right-side up

and you can be anywhere you want to be

soaring through the heavens, you call to me
as images flicker through your mind
this isn’t so hard, you think,
your mask still fastened tight
and when you draw your knife I don’t resist
and when you are reborn I don’t resist

because when you are alive I cannot live but here we are

spiraling to the ocean floor like helices
all of us flying in our eyes
fully masked and hauntingly we cry

after all, our paths are beautiful

after all, we are still beautiful.

born this way

she says “you’re burning up”
but it’s no matter, I was born this way
acting up as if noon is midnight
I’m an earthquake, hurling objects at the walls
locked up from within but that’s okay
‘cause nature alone can break me, you called
my name from across the room and I still hear you
you’re just an apparition, that fairy of my nightmares
and whoever said that ghosts are scary?
humans are ten times worse! and after all, you knew
that I could never have survived here
so you tried to save me with these chains but listen!
hear me cry
feel the ground tremble beneath your feet
I know you meant well, I won’t hurt you
if anyone dies tonight it will be me, or so you said
thinking I’d be dead by daybreak
but you just watch
you just open your eyes and watch, love
and the sun will crown the victor in the morning.

lost

crashing
     like the crystal waves on the burning shore
     like the patient lying on the floor
and still I cannot find my way to you

waking
     like a child with slow eyes within the morning
     like passion and compassion when it’s pouring
and still I cannot fall asleep to dream

she says “it’s time to go” and we start crying,
     but everyone of us is already dying,
we break the walls with our own bare hands
and now there’s nothing left

and now there’s nothing left but we are free

retracing ~together, our midday stars~

because I always knew you were destined for something more –
but I never thought today would be the day.

walking alone on an empty street
surrounded by your footprints, I watch
as the wind gently removes you from our world.

my chest hurts but it’s not raining
because the world goes on without you, don’t you know?
I reach out for the hand that extends from your heart
grasping at shadows in the mid-day sun
and I don’t know why I still have to live.

I don’t understand why you left me now
how you could just close your eyes and vanish
it seems so cruel in retrospect, but I’m not angry
and as I watch the last traces of you crumble away
it seems I’m already bringing flowers to your grave.

there is something contained here, I know
within the limits of our lives,
but our hearts at least are limitless
can you see me here, walking down this street?
in our dreams, we called this “eternity”.

so take my hand and let us walk this path together
whether we leave our own footprints or not
the stars will still shine, for us but not for us
and our shadows will still be traceable, until that day
that wonderfully limitless day we call “tomorrow”.

because I always knew we were destined for something more –
but I never thought tomorrow could be the day.

reconstruction ~18/25/74~

headphones in and I’m lost in time
even though I always was
     sitting at the bar, another man sits beside him
     they talk about life and love
     they talk about dreams
you start your song and I close my eyes
can’t tell what I’m searching for
          she lowers her head into my chest and cries
     he collapses onto the floor and dies
and I’m asking why me, why him
why you, why now
          somehow 18 became 25 became 74
          and I can’t fathom this turn of events
          she’s mad if she thinks I will live
     the man at the bar leans over him
          but we’re both out of canvases, there’s
          nothing left but to paint over what’s behind
          let’s paint over our bodies tonight
laying here with an arrow in my chest
     he’s not gone yet
the only thing I want is to hear your voice again
I’m mad if I think you will help me live
          she splatters scarlet red across my ribs
     he is going to make it
two more minutes of your song, I know
     he breathes,
and now it’s time
          she sings,
it was always time to live.

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