Living as Kohaku

headphones in and I’m lost in time
even though I always was
       sitting at the bar, another man sits beside him
       they talk about life and love
       they talk about dreams
you start your song and I close my eyes
can’t tell what I’m searching for
              she lowers her head into my chest and cries
       he collapses onto the floor and dies
and I’m asking why me, why him
why you, why now
              somehow 18 became 25 became 74
              and I can’t fathom this turn of events
              she’s mad if she thinks I will live
       the man at the bar leans over him
              but we’re both out of canvases, there’s
              nothing left but to paint over what’s behind
              let’s paint over our bodies tonight
laying here with an arrow in my chest
       he’s not gone yet
the only thing I want is to hear your voice again
I’m mad if I think you will help me live
              she splatters scarlet red across my ribs
       he is going to make it
two more minutes of your song, I know
       he breathes,
and now it’s time
              she sings,
it was always time to live.