Living as Kohaku

Last Dawn

at the edge of eternal night,
at the end of a sparrow’s flight,
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
playing
        chasing
                talking
wading
we’re burning in the light of day,
living our lives without a say,
still struggling to find the way
        but at the edge of “come what may,”
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.
        as if we could understand our own reflections
        our own shadows beneath our feet
        our bodies laying in the street
well they never, never saw us.
and if they never saw us,
what could we have done?
        turning towards a future we cannot grasp,
        putting our destinies on silent timelapse,
        we chase the dreams we never had –
and when we wake up and open our eyes,
there I’ll be waiting, waiting for you.

---

and you looked into my eyes

bracing autumn winds —
as if we were, I smiled,
trying not to cry;
and you looked into my eyes
and you told me to let go.

---

ride the barrier with me ~one day, freedom~

gazing at you through the veil of my laughter,
I can’t help but think that you’re beautiful…
I wish you could see and believe it, too

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?

just tell me, who says we can’t love each other?
riding the barrier to freedom, we are
we’re not hurting anyone but ourselves
this doesn’t concern anyone else
and they can’t control love, can they?

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…

but what a stupid word that is!
four letters to contain all of the feelings in the world,
it’s absolutely laughable
maybe in another language I wouldn’t hate it so much
but we’re all humans after all
so I guess I shouldn’t ramp up my expectations?

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…
someday, the world will understand me

I want to embrace you and hold your hand,
please believe it
how beautiful you are to me
anyone who says you’re worthless or ugly or stupid
just doesn’t have the strength to see,
the imagination to feel,
the will to give you love

spending time with you, I’m so happy
I’m so glad I’m alive
if I have the power to make you happy, even a little,
isn’t it more than responsibility?
I love you…
someday, the world will understand me
and we can live as we were meant to be.

---

A Night Song

if I could hear your voice again
if I could see your face
if I could gaze into your eyes
who knows what I would do for you

the days when I could take your hand
and hold it gently in mine
if only I could still remember
the feeling of your embrace, this time

there’s a world out there that I can see
just beyond your sunrise song
it’s waiting now for you and me, but
but you’ve left that path behind, and I

I could never blame you now

I want to chase, you, down
show you the promise of tomorrow
share all my love with all of yours
‘till I’ve nothing left to give

if only they would let us live

I couldn’t reach you if I wanted to
and they knew how much I wanted to
but dreams will be dreams, and after all
I didn’t dare wake up from mine

I wasn’t as brave as you, you see
and I wasn’t as damaged, maybe
I just held on faithfully
guess I was too blind to flee

and still,
and still

there’s a world out there that I can see
just beyond your sunrise song
it’s waiting now for you and me, but
but you’ve left that path behind, and I

I could never blame you now

I want to chase, you, down
show you the promise of tomorrow
share all my love with all of yours
‘till I’ve nothing left to give

if only they would let us live

so you said

---

As If “You And I”

like the shifting sand
the time blurs into my eyes —
as if “you and I”…
chasing our reality,
in this world we make our own.

---

Prison Break ~one human happiness~

falling just like a single strand of hair
      in this world
where horizon lines are like prison bars
where we cannot help but see the same stars
together, we bend their definitions
expanding what it means to be alive
      we heard them say
She would not force his judgments onto you
So we promised to start living what’s true
And slipping into this borderless dream
I had a taste of joy in fantasy
      from day one I kept
Reaching for your hand though you could not take it
Well, without a band I could not shake it
I saw the universe without boundaries
As it was still reflected in your eyes
      and in the end I knew
that even if the world still hated you
we would get the payment that we were due
exchanged in one human happiness, this
time, we’d have all that we needed again
      so one day in the near future
you can be who and what you want to be
and you won’t have to look far to find me
I know that right now it’s far-fetched, but I

---

dimensions of love

dimensions of love –
side-by-side to sleep or wake,
we gaze at our skies;
like incandescent feathers,
your heart-shattering presence.

---

Falling For You

dreaming
         reaching
this was never meant to be
calling
         falling
if it’s just you and me

I can’t see

the world I tried to find
never existed in my time
         so just breathe
              I’ll leave
‘cause once you chased me down the shore
I knew I couldn’t ask for more
no, I couldn’t ask for more

if you knew that I was falling for you
and if that meant anything to you
well, on this day, if I may
         I guess I’ll say it, I

I’ll keep it to myself this time

dreaming
         reaching
this was never meant to be
calling
         falling
if it’s just you and me

if it’s just you and me,
you’ll see
but I’ll keep it to myself this time

---

non-existence

waiting for the song
to tell me what’s in my heart —
whisper from the wind;
I call out for a love that
was never mine to cherish.

---

Nocturne of a Dreamer

sitting at the edge of dawn,
waiting for who knows how long
the first bird shares her siren song
         and we –
in this intangible moment we
         go off into infinity
stepping into the unknown that is our life.

as though we could have stopped them,
         and made this place our own
as though we could have met them,
         and bent our fates anew
we chase each dawn from night to day,
each following our own loving way –
         then searching for the words to say,
words that might still change the world someday.

reaching into open arms, we gaze
         at these reflections of our own blind eyes
         at our opposite horizon lines
and we say, “we will not go.”
we say “this is not the end.”

because here, the sun is rising –
         hear, the sun is rising –
and today
with nothing else to do
         and no other path to take
we follow it into eternity.

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