dissolving beautifully

dissolving beautifully

unable to move
I gazed into your eyes, just
watching petals fall;
from your dissolving figure
they spread out beautifully.

I’ll See You Again

I’ll see you again…

the world spins and spins and spins
watching the turnover of seasons,
I can’t read the flow of time
but you knew I never could
and now

to sprout and bloom and die,
maybe this too is our life
I watched you change colors like the leaves
before you fell into the white snow
so it’s not too far off, is it?

sinking to the earth,
you gave me new life
and then returned to the stars above
you always belonged there, you know
maybe I’ll follow you someday

watching over a flower as it slowly dies,
this kind of feeling is so painful
would I do it again given the chance?
I still don’t know the answer
but there was never a point in that

heat flows in through the autumn winds
pulled along by the season’s change, I think
let’s play a game of catch today
this tragic yet beautiful world you passed on to me,
I’ll throw it back at you again!

wherever you are
whoever you are
get ready to catch it,
‘cause I’ll find you
I’ll see you again!

Horizon Lines

Horizon Lines

gray horizon lines
marking off our months and years –
who could ever see?
dreaming styled fantasy
of those on the other side.

A Single Star-Filled Sky

As the darkness sets in I gaze up at the sky,
Wishing I had the ability to fly –
But I don’t even know where it is that you are,
So where would I head, for how long and how far?
The light is fading, and without you I’m stuck here,
But strangely tonight this produces no fear;
Just counting the bombs like I would count passing cars,
Knowing that you and I are now seeing the same stars.

On the other side of the horizon line,
You live in a world that’s no better than mine,
Full of clumsy creatures who act without thinking,
Who commit acts of destruction without even blinking.
They say that two minuses are supposed to make a plus,
So should we let two countries war without making a fuss?
I love you all, but it’s beyond my control –
Humanity is determined to rip apart my soul.

Dozens of years have come and gone,
And here we are at the edge of dawn,
Repeating ourselves like a song on replay,
Crawling desperately toward the end of the day.
The ground cracks open beneath my feet,
You wrap your child in a bloodstained sheet,
They whisper “I’m sorry” and pretend to care,
While celebrating nothing but death and despair.

Gazing at the same sea of stars, you and I,
We wonder how quickly our time will fly,
Praying we’ll live long enough to see
A world where love will be finally set free.
But tonight I understand that it’s only a dream –
One we can’t reach, one still too extreme.
I hoped we would meet in the future some day –
But tonight I am dying, so alone we will stay.

Entry #14 – Loneliness

Hi everyone, Kohaku here. I hope you all had a great week!

A couple of weeks ago, when talking about 「HIRAETH」, I briefly discussed the topic of homesickness. Today, on a slightly related topic, I want to talk about the feeling of loneliness.

It’s easy to feel lonely. As is said, we’re social animals, and when our social circles are taken away from us (or if they are nonexistent in the first place), we hurt. For some, it’s especially painful, and there are also some people who just feel lonesome very easily. As we go through life, it’s important to actively seek out and maintain a social network that is open-hearted, loving, and genuine so that we can avoid feelings of loneliness.

Often when I’m out with my friends or family, I’m suddenly struck with appreciation for this community that surrounds me. At the beach watching the sunset with loved ones by my side – are these not the moments that make life worth living? Of course, the problem is when some people are for whatever reason denied such moments. But others actively choose to avoid them. There is value there, too. In the end, I think it takes a special kind of strength to live life alone.

Homesickness, loneliness, sadness, and depression – all of these feelings are connected. And in the reverse, they are also connected to feelings of having a home, having community, being happy, and being content. These connections and complexities are what I’ve been exploring recently in my writing. I’ll be moving forward with these themes in mind.

This week, value the community that surrounds you. Call your friends and family, go out together, and have a good and meaningful time. If you don’t have a social group and you’re feeling lonesome, take some risks and try to create one. And if you know someone who has been denied a community, reach out to them yourself. You could save a life – really.

Take care,


BLURRED EDGES ~for all their days~

to drag their fingers through the sand
trapped in a home that’s not their land
they never could have seen the light of day

just figures forming in the mist
their stories end without a twist
well, no one ever thought that they could stay

but what if we had given them a way?

the promises that they exchanged,
the wins and losses that they gained,
whoever said that was not worth a life?

for all their days of suffering and strife…

diminished seventh

a silent figure sits alone
the ruins of his shattered throne
his hands gracing all he can own
and no one there to watch him.

he strikes a chord and heaves a sigh
and starts to play that famous lie
conceived by those now gods on high
who never cared to watch him.

“No more of this,” he starts to say
but even still his fingers play
a room of spirits start to sway
they blindly cannot watch him.

the song moves on from verse to verse
he protests more, his speech grows terse
he looks around to find his hearse
who ever could have watched him?

shattered, he leaves his soul behind
a man now to his fate resigned
he crosses the border of his mind
with no one there to watch him.

living contradictions

living contradictions

slow seasons turning
they mark off my extra days –
how am I still here?
if to wake up is a lie,
can I not one day refuse?

excerpt from Songs Without End

“You know, I was supposed to die when I was your age.

For some reason I’ve had two extra years… it’s strange.

I should not be alive.”

– Ryū